I stopped in the local Fnuggy's Eatery and approached the counter. The sell such wonderful things. Chicken Lumps, Beef Hexagons, Jelly Burgers, DOUBLE Jelly Burgers and my personal favorite "Fungus ands Rice Sliders". They give you six miniature burgers with each burger loaded with a rice patty, mushrooms, lichen and different seasonings on each one. I prepared my mouth with antiopation saliva.
I approached the man at the counter. He was a strapping young man with a Chelsea haircut, freckles of gold and as uniform stained with what looked like a mix of grease and stool. I quickly pushed the customer in front of me out of the way so I could order. Raising my finger I said to this upstanding citizen "I will take all of your Fungus and Rice sliders. Please don't sell any of them to people besides me." The man proceeded to stare at me for six minutes without responding then with a raspy, middle aged but still in puberty voice he said "$38.50" and wiped his nose on his sleeve.
After paying with couch treasure I waited impatiently for my meal to arrive. I paced around the resteraunt, scaring many, MANY children. After an incident with the local law inforcement I came in to eat. But there it was... In a greasy, gooey sack, my meal was waiting for me. I sat down at my table after filling my cup with ice cubes and dove into to the colonic cornucopia. Every order comes with coconut fries and a little paper hat so you can feel like a king, nay! A GOD!
Noisily chomping down my food, drawing stares from the entire resteraunt as my powerful teeth, as yellow as fresh corn munched down the splendid decitance of Fnuggy's Fungus and Rice Sliders. The spittle, the slurping, the gnashing of teeth and tongue. I dove into them like a hyena tears into a two month old gazelle carcass. But it was worth it. It was heaven in a bag. The savoury spices. The multiple levels the fungus dances gaily on your tongue."
With a big stretch and a belch that caused window reverberation I walked out the door with some fresh coconut fries for Mr. Blumple. He will need the energy for the journey home.
